Whether or Not

I stand and I look right at you, thoughts running through my head. How I thought you were my best friend, but now it's different. Nobody could have planned it, but still you went on right through, broke the trust that I had in you.

Whether or not you know it. Whether or not I show it. I can't forget and I won't forgive, but I travel along. I know you never meant to hurt me, and it's easy to say that we'll be okay. Cause now, I've seen you laugh, you've seen me smile. We joke around, when all the while, I'm just falling deeper.

Whether or not you know it. Whether or not I show it. I can't forget and I won't forgive, but I travel along giving you that thought that I moved on. I don't want to lose you, but this is the truth.

I stand and I look at you two. I see why you both work out. He's yours without a doubt. I wish that I could play that role, be the one to share your joy with, but I'm still with these feelings I can't control.

Whether or not you know it. Whether or not I show it. I can't forget and I won't forgive, but I travel on giving you that thought...

But I've not moved on.

Message Received

I am a bit of a romantic. Okay, okay, when I say "a bit," I mean I am a hopeless, bright-eyed, often-times naive romantic. This trait has paved the way for some major love mishaps. In fact, a teeny bopper rom-com could be written around these mishaps. That being said, let the cameras roll.

I received a text message recently that was not intended for my eyes. Actually, I can't prove that it wasn't meant for me, only hope. It detailed what a predicament the sender was in after the time that I had spent with sender. It then continued to say that sender did not know how to "get rid" of me. I also received a new name: "busted mistake." I was unaware that I had applied for a new name, but that choice does have a certain ring to it. Is that Hebrew? It might sound better in French: "faute bousillée," or "erreur éclatée." Screw it, just call me "BM." I can't win.

After my initial shock, I thought about the events leading up to this message, the textapades, if you will. I had asked the sender in previous messages to let me know the moment that he/she felt that he/she couldn't carry on a "textlationship." In other words, I gave the sender an easy out. However, the sender replied that everything was fine and I needn't worry about it. Well that is fantastic! I was given proof that I need not be worried about overstaying my digital welcome and could rest peacefully in knowing that the messages would continue. The messages did not continue until the message that I wasn't even supposed to see.

I'm not losing sleep over this mishap, nor am I even going to do anything to retaliate against the sender. At this point, what good would that do? It might make me feel like I've defended my honor, but it would only last a fleeting moment. No, no, I'll just chalk this one up to yet another backfire in the horribly damaged shotgun that is my quasi-love life.

My only advice to you, my readers, would be to be honest with everyone you know. You can save people a lot of hurt later down the road by taking ownership for your feelings and theirs as well. It might not be the easiest thing to do at the time, but wouldn't you want someone to do that for you?

To the sender, although I highly doubt you're reading this, let me just say...your message was received loud and clear.

NYC LGBT Youth Vigil

Click on the thumbnail above to see the whole album.

Last night in Washington Square Park in New York City, thousands gathered to let LGBT youth know that they are loved. There has been a rise in suicides among teens who have been bullied excessively because they are or have been labeled as gay or lesbian. Governor Patterson was there with us in the cold rain and let us know that he is standing with us to get anti-bullying laws to include LGBT youth. Cheyenne Jackson closed out the vigil by leading the crowd in a heartfelt version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

"The sun is on my neck, the wind is in my face."

Howdy y'all. I'm writing to you from Dallas, TX. Actually, I'm in Irving, TX, but we'll be playing Dallas this weekend. I have an update to my previous post.

I will no longer be working with Spirit Productions. I was recently contacted by another previous employer, Stiletto Entertainment, Stiletto for short. Stiletto casts and produces all production shows aboard the ships of Holland America Cruise Lines. I have had the privilege of working aboard 3 of their ships and am about to board my 4th, possibly 5th.

In November, I will begin rehearsing for the World Cruise. This is a highly coveted contract and I feel very honored to be asked to do it. Some ports of call include:

Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US; Georgetown, Cayman Islands; Puerto Limon, Costa Rica; Enter Panama Canal Cristobal; Exit Panama Canal Balboa; Manta, Ecuador; Callao (Lima), Peru; Easter Island, Chile; Papeete, French Polynesia; Bora Bora, French Polynesia; Rarotonga, Cook Islands; Alofi, Niue NUALF; Cross International Dateline; Nuku' Alofa, Tonga; Auckland, New Zealand; Tauranga (Rotorua) New Zealand; Napier, New Zealand; Wellington, New Zealand; Christchurch (Lyttelton) NZ; Dunedin (Port Chalmers) NZ; Oban (Halfmoon Bay), New Zealand; Fiordland Natl Park Eastbound; Hobart, Australia; Port Arthur, Australia; Sydney, Australia; Cairns, Australia; Madang, Papua New Guinea; Crossing the Equator; Koror, Palau; Manila, Philippines; Hong Kong, China; Phu My, Vietnam; Singapore; Cochin, India; Mumbai (Bombay), India; Dubai, United Arab Emirates; Muscat, Oman; Safaga, Egypt; Sharm el Sheik, Egypt; Aqaba (for Petra), Jordan; Enter Suez Canal at Suez; Exit Suez Canal at Port Said; Alexandria (Cairo), Egypt; Kusadasi (Ephesus), Turkey; Piraeus (Athens), Greece; Naples, Italy; Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy; Cartagena, Spain; Cadiz (Seville), Spain; Funchal (Madeira), Portugal

One could see how this is an opportunity not to pass on. I will board the ship after two months of rehearsal in Inglewood, CA, near Los Angeles. I'm very excited to be in SoCal again so that I will get to reunite with so many wonderful people from my days with The Young Americans. I have a feeling that all of my days "off" will be full of merriment and memories.

I will keep you up to date on any further developments to this exciting turn of events as well as messages from rehearsal.

As for now, I have to get to the Nokia Theatre in Dallas for my last 6 shows with "Storytime Live" before a much needed trip home to NYC, where my roommate and I will be looking for a new apartment in Brooklyn!

Take care of yourselves and practice love to everyone you meet...you never know what they may be going through.

Until next time,
Joey

Moving On

Hey there, virtual world! Life on the road is going very well. We've been in Florida for the past two weeks and it has been a blast!

I finished working with one of our two new replacements and she has successfully gone into the show for good now. I'm in the process of getting another replacement ready to take on his new track with our show and he will go in on Monday. On Sunday, yet another replacement comes and I start the process all over again to get her ready to go!

I got a call a few days ago from a wonderful company I've had the privilege of working for in the past, Spirit Productions. I was offered three shows with them and I've decided to take them. I'll be here on tour until Sept. 26th, then it's off to rehearsal for my newest venture on October 3rd. It's a wonderful opportunity to be able to perform on a regular basis again and not swing a show. That being said, I have had such a great time on this tour and feel truly blessed for the opportunity. It is most assuredly bittersweet.

More updates will be coming as I get more information about my next step!

I hope everyone is doing well and that there's plenty of good health to go around. Take care of yourselves and spread some love...everyday!

Always my best to you,
*Joey

Lyricists Have Beaten Me To The Punch

Amazing lyricists have beaten me to the punch and managed to pinpoint exactly what I've been feeling for...well, far too long. I just had to share it as I'm sure many of you have felt this way or are feeling it now. The first is by Katie Thompson, who is much better for your soul than chicken soup could ever be. The second is by A Fine Frenzy...equally beautiful. The first is how I SHOULD be feeling. The second is much closer to where I actually am...ever the dreamer.
-------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------

"I Know"

I'm not that dumb
I know exactly where you're coming from
I'm not surprised to see you're leaving tonight

Baby, I know
Baby, I know
I know

You're not in love
And two short weeks aren't enough
to make you stay
To make you miss your stupid train

Baby, I know
Baby, I know

I know it's too soon
and I know I'm too much
I know I'll survive without you, it's just
I don't want to

Cause now that you're here
Now that my skin is warm and clear
I'm supposed to run
I'm supposed to tell you this was fun

Baby, I know
I know

You said you were leaving
You said you weren't mine
And yes, I agreed the whole damn time

It's not okay to wish you'd simply sweep me away
I know

Baby, I know
I hear the train, you don't have to tell me that you're so late

Cause I know
Baby, I know
I know.


-------------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------

"Ashes and Wine"

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
And I'll drown in my tears, don't they see?
And that would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games
It's just a shame to let you walk away

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This days are spinning circus on a wheel
And I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out, I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down, no

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

And I'll tear myself away
So if it?s that is what you need, there is nothing left to say but

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?

----------------------*----------------------------------------------------------------
So, as I said, these are not my words. However, this is where I am. Sorry this post is a lukewarm cup of coffee.

I hope you are well.

*Joey*

Summa' Time!

Hey there. It has been quite a minute since I've updated! I apologize for my absence. I wish I had an excuse that was worthy of print, but I don't. So, in the spirit of forgiving and forgetting, let's move on.

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Little Rock, AR after a two week layoff from "Storytime Live!" It was a welcome break and I certainly made the most of it. The first week was spent in one of the most peaceful and, in my opinion, beautiful places I've had the pleasure of visiting...Harbor Springs, Petoskey, and Boyne Highlands Resort in Northern Michigan. I got to see many friends that I had not seen in up to 4 or 5 years and it was perfection. I was also fortunate to meet many new people that are so beautiful, genuine and insanely talented at The Young Americans Dinner Theatre at Boyne Highlands Resort. I was blessed to perform there during the summers of '04 and '05 and I was immediately transported back to those days as soon as I set foot in the room where the show takes place. If you have some time for a vacation this summer, I highly recommend taking a trip up North and checking it out for yourselves. You can get all the details about the show and the amazing organization that is The Young Americans at: www.youngamericans.org

The second week of my layoff was spent with two dear friends from high school at their place in Dublin, OH. It was so wonderful spending time with "the group" from high school. There are 5 of us that have remained close since graduating and it's always a good time when we get together.

Now it's back to life on the road. The show is going well, although we've had many changes. Our fantastic crew come and go quickly, which is usually jarring, but the cast is good about welcoming the new to the old. We've also had two new cast members join us since I've last written. It was a pretty east process for me to teach them the show and run the put-in rehearsals thanks to their great work ethic and want to get it right. In a few weeks I'll get to do it all again with another new cast member. So, things are always changing and I welcome that with open arms.

We'll be in the South for the next two months and that time will include a trip to Disney World! We'll also be visiting New Orleans and I'll get to see a good friend that I had the pleasure of working with in Shanghai last year.

I'm filled with a need for renewal right now. I've decided to devote my next two months to the search of newness in every area of my life and my relationships with those that surround me on a daily basis. Part of the "newness" will be to choreograph more and actually put my work on people. I have many members of my cast that are willing and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to "newness" and not settling for "just getting by," and just thinking about it feels good. I think that's a good sign that I'm moving in the right direction.

Take care and, until next time, make that espresso a double.

*Joey*

On the Road

Hello out there in Cyberland! (DIET COKE...Diet Coke...diet coke) A lot has happened since my last post and I'll do my best to update you now.

Our show, "Storytime Live!" opened on Feb. 16th in York, PA. After York, we headed to Pittsburgh where I met up with my dear friend Joe Nickel. I would divulge more information about that crazy weekend, but I can never be sure who will read this. I will say that it was a fantastic time and I got to meet many wonderful people. Although, I did not get much sleep. What comes before Part B? Part A!! I was also introduced to the amazing Pittsburgh slang. If you don't know what it is, yinz should contact someone from Pittsburgh and learn n'at.

From Pittsburgh, it was back to the Motherland...Ohio. Toledo, OH to be exact. After many cups of Biggby Coffee and trips to Meijer, it was off to Wilkes-Barre, PA. Unfortunately, due to weather, Wilkes-Barre was canceled and rescheduled and we continued East to Wallingford, CT.

I do not understand CT. First of all, the speed limit everywhere seems to be either 30 or 55 and changes at the most random times. Also, the entrance to a very busy section of the highway is a STOP SIGN! What? However, there is a mall very close to our hotel and I was more than happy to make the tiny hop over for some retail therapy. While browsing through books at the Borders in said mall, I came across the "Gay and Lesbian Fiction" section. (Shocking!) I was looking through the fives of books that were featured in this section when I heard, "There's a guy looking at the gay books," from the other side of the bookcase. They were two employees stocking and rearranging the "Crafts/Cooking" section. As if he had anything to call me out on. He was up to his elbows in Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, and Design on a Dime. Oh, mall workers.

From here, we head to State College, PA. I imagine that I'll get to meet one of these Nittany Lions that everyone has been raving about. That's for another time.

One of the joys of my position as Dance Captain is doing a warm-up for the cast before each day of shows. I want to provide the best experience for everyone, not just through the movement, but through the music as well. I came across some albums, some new, some older but new to me, and wanted to recommend them since I've been using them in my warm-ups.


Daniel Merriweather - Love & War

Dan Black - Un

Kevin Hammond - Kevin Hammond EP

The Temper Trap - Conditions

Michael Buble - Crazy Love

Katie Thompson - KT Live

David Guetta - Pop Life








They can all be found on iTunes, so check them out!

Aside from preparing to go into the show for the first time next Saturday in Appleton, WI, I've been choreographing on my free time. I need a chance to dance and create so that my body and soul don't atrophy. Don't get me wrong, the cast is great and I'm grateful for the experience, but it's just not pushing me as much I feel I need right now. I can only go one day at a time and enjoy the process...so that's what I'll do.

Live it up and go full out,
Joey

Bit by Bit...Putting it Together

Howdy Blog Land! I hope you have had a great week and are looking forward to an even better weekend.

The second week of rehearsal for "Storytime Live!" is almost over and we head out for tech next Friday. It has been quite a quick process, but a total blast.

The cast is continuing to enhance the characters they've created and I've had the opportunity to swing in a few times when people have been out for costume fittings and such. I'm feeling pretty confident and not nearly as overwhelmed as I was when we were first learning it...which is a good sign.

On top of all that, I have been asked to be the Dance Captain and the Vocal Captain. Both of which are a huge honor and I'm extremely honored to take them on. Many cast members have approached me and asked to have dance classes throughout our time on the road and I cannot wait to collaborate and create with them. It is such a fun and genuinely easy-going group of performers...so refreshing.

That's it for now. My next post will hopefully come from our Tech in York, PA!

Until then, take care of yourselves and take a little time to dance with your arms waving wildly in the air. Trust me, it's the best medicine...other than a nice bottle of red.

Laters.

-Joey-

Es Un Lugar Maravilloso

Greetings my dear readers.

Today was the second day of rehearsal for "Storytime Live!" This is the next chapter of my life...a year long national tour.

Nickelodeon has combined four of their cartoons into one mega-show. It includes: "Ni Hao, Kai-Lan," "The Backyardigans," "The Wonder Pets," and "Dora the Explorer." Each individual segment of the show combines the characters from each cartoon with characters from classic fairy tales like: "The Monkey King," "Alice in Wonderland," "Robin Hood," "Sleeping Beauty," "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood," and "Goldilocks and the Three Bears." In essence, children are going to lose their shit when they see it all put together.

The production team for this show is incredible! Director Sam Scalamoni (Beauty and the Beast), Choreographer Wendy Seyb (The Toxic Avenger), and Musical Director Gary Adler (Altar Boyz). The cast is definitely in good hands. I could not be more thrilled to be working with such accomplished and genuinely wonderful people.

The cast of 10 are all fantastic. As with most shows, energy is to be expected, but these actors and actresses bring it up a notch. It's only been two days and I'm having a blast.

I'm the swing, which means that I cover all of the male tracks. Should any one of them need to be out of a show, I go in. I'm essentially an on-call actor. Ready to go when the time comes. It's a bit overwhelming because each track plays so many different characters, but it's a very welcome challenge.

There will be more updates as we progress through the rehearsal process, but I've got to review and get to bed.

I hope that you are having a safe, healthy, positive, productive, and loving start to 2010! I would like to emphasize the loving part. Take some time and let people know how much they mean to you. I know it's easy to forget, but we truly don't know what could happen from day to day, so take that extra time and spread some love.

-Joey-

P.S. I met Tony Yazbeck (A Chorus Line, Gypsy, most recently White Christmas) today! He was preparing for an audition, so I didn't want to bother him...but I did. He was really nice and humble when my word vomiting produced endless piles of gushing at his feet. THEN, as I was getting on the elevator, who should be coming out of said elevator but Sutton Foster. That's right, Millie herself, or most recently as Princess Fiona in Shrek the Musical! All in all, a fantastic day!

Grab a Cup and Have a Seat

Hello, Hey, Howdy, Holler, What's up, Ni Hao, and Welcome. I'm not entirely sure what I want the purpose of this blog to be, which could be an indication that I shouldn't be writing one at all. Oh well, I've never been one to listen to indications, even when they are very loud and in my face. We will touch on that at a later time.

The main reason for my newly discovered interest in blogging is boredom. Boredom and the fact that I feel like I have things I would like to share with the world. I also happen to thoroughly (modernly) enjoy typing. I have always loved typing. When I was a kid, I would visit my step-mom at the local newspaper where she worked as a graphic design artist. I loved the "click, clack" of the keys as she would type with such speed. This might have also been the birth of my love for tap dance. I'm just saying.

If you're still reading this, thanks for hanging in there. I know you must have many more important things to do. Your loyalty and patience will not go unnoticed. That being said, let's get down to business.

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A fantastic friend gave me a book for my birthday that I would like to recommend to you. It's called, "The Self-Destruction Handbook: 8 Simple Steps to an Unhealthier You." Don't judge a book by it's title and think that this book is not for you. It is full of sage advice to help you not help yourself.

Chapters Include:

*12 Steps to a Drinking "Problem"
*Condoms Are for Suckers
*How to Lose Way Too Much Weight in 90 Days

This book might not change your life, but it just might help you end it. It's hilarious and includes some crossword puzzles and word finds. Get to your nearest bookstore, grab a copy, and begin your downward spiral into darkness today!

In conclusion, thanks for checking out my first foray into journalism. I can't promise any entries will get better, but hopefully they'll give you something to do while you have that cup a joe...y.

Dumplings and Gummy Bears,
Joey