This Is Supposed to Help?

What did you really want from me?
Were you seeking connection or just fulfilling your own selfish desires?
What happened?

When did you know that you didn't really care about me?
When you told me that you were done being concerned about my feelings, did you not realize that that fact had been clear for quite some time?  Jerk.

How's your new quest to collect shiny people going?
Are you too obsessed with yourself to realize that I'm still here?

Do you remember how you treated me like a burden?  Fuck you.

(Why do I still care?  That's the worst part.)

I was hoping that this might be cathartic, but it's really just reignited my anger.  Wait, maybe that's part of the process.

In any event, fuck you.

The MS Narnia?

"It's okay.  Things work differently on ships."

I would like to clear the air on the validity of the above quotation.  I believe it to be one hundred percent false.  Please allow me to explain and, in the process, vent my frustrations.  You may feel free to bail now should you so choose.

When you embark on a contract working on a cruise ship, you do not pass through any type of Narnian wardrobe or threshold where all current relationships, problems, fears, aspirations, or general sense of decorum disappear.  The latter only applies if one begins with a sense of decorum; that is a topic for another blog.  For example, if you are in a romantic relationship while your feet are on dry land, that relationship does not disintegrate once your feet are on a structure that is floating in the water.  Now, if you and your significant other have discussed taking a break while you are away, so be it.  However, you can not issue a blanket statement of how "things work differently" as a sign of carte blanche to gallivant through the world of, ahem, extracurricular physical activities.  In short, you should not feel free to be reckless with the feelings of others just because you believe you are in the magical land of "ships."  Your current situation may have been altered in terms of geography, but, at the core, it has not changed.  Does your relationship or friendship evaporate each time you head out of town?  I pray that it does not.

I have also met too many people that seem to entirely give up any hope for the future while working on a ship.  Emotions do tend to ebb and flow like the tide in day to day life.  This is not a unique experience to seafarers.  I understand that there will be times when one feels down in the dumps, but you can choose to do something about that.  You have the choice to rise above whatever is getting you down and to seek a sunnier plain, for lack of a better term.  There are so many people that I have worked with who form an apathetic shell around themselves while at sea.  Why is this?  Perhaps I should plainly ask, "Why do you not care about anything anymore?  Do you need to talk?"  That would only work if the other party is interested in speaking about subjects that move past the usual, "How many contracts have you done?" type of conversing.  Take heart!  We, as human beings maneuvering our way through life, are all in the same boat…in this case, quite literally.  I have troubles, too!  How about talking it out?  Let us help one another on the journey of living rather than metaphorically donning the life preserver, jumping overboard, and silently riding out the storm.

I would want people to realize that this life at sea is still life.  It is a very real, very tangible, very live life.  How exciting to remain engaged with the "outside world!"

So, the next time someone approaches me with a lewd comment or apathetic view joined with an obligatory "Oh man, ship life."  I will smile and say, "Life is beautiful, if you want it to be."

I Can't. I'm In Tech.

The summit has been reached.  After a week of early mornings and late nights, the cast of the ms Amsterdam is finally up and running with four production shows.  The long hours of rehearsing and implementing all of the technical aspects were validated by an overwhelmingly positive reception from each audience.  They like us.  They really like us!

Performing three shows a night has taken quite a bit of getting used to.  I have found that taking a vow of silence between each show to be incredibly beneficial.  I have given thought to learning sign language for such situations, but, in the interest of time, I have decided to wear a small chalkboard around my neck.  Incidentally, I have become a master of writing upside down.  This will make me a better person, right?

I was fortunate enough to get off of the ship in two ports last week.  However, now that there will be less rehearsing, I will be able to take full advantage of my time in all four ports.  I am certainly looking forward to exploring Vancouver again.  On a side note, if you ever get the opportunity to visit Vancouver, do it.  I look at this amazing city as the child of Seattle and New York City.  Could it get any better?

Pictures and further updates on my Alaskan adventures will follow, so please prepare yourselves.  I will assume that your breath is bated.  :)

I pray that you are thriving and surrounded by laughter, love, and goodness.

Until next time…

J

Taking Time and Seeing the Good

Well, the time has come to set sail once again.  I am headed back to the MS Amsterdam for four months in sunny, summertime Alaska.  I am anticipating many hikes or simple journeys into nature where I can decompress and try to slow down all the frenetic thoughts that have been swirling through my mind for the last few months.  There is nothing quite as refreshing as taking the time to check in with yourself and allow your brain to recharge.  This is something I do not do as often as I should.  However, it is a new year.  Well, it was a new year not too long ago, so why not make a new start?

I look forward to providing you with updates from the heart and mind of a man traveling with little more than his hopes, dreams, fears, and ambition.  To those of you who have contributed to my journey thus far, thank you.  Your support and, in some cases, disapproving energy have been exactly what I have needed.

Until we meet in this virtual cafe again, allow me to give you a challenge; a challenge that I will also be taking on.  I urge you to find the goodness in every situation.  I do mean in EVERY situation.  Go ahead, give it a shot.  When you find yourself starting to complain about something, take two seconds to fish around in your brain and extract a ray of sunshine.  I am not saying it will be easy, or even possible in every circumstance, but what if you find that it could be?  You will never know until you take a chance to surround yourself with the good.  

I pray that you will be well and feel blessed.  

Until next time,
Joey

Back In L.A.

Well, it appears that I was horrible about keeping this here site up to date. Allow me to summarize everything that happened in the space between my last post and now with the word amazing.

I could not have asked for a better group of people to frolic in Europe and the Caribbean with. I just finished my time with them a mere ten days ago, but it feels like much longer. Upon completion of my contract on the Nieuw Amsterdam, I joined two of my cast mates for a trip to Disney World and Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. It was an absolute blast. After that, I traveled with one of them to NYC for six days of merriment in the greatest city in the world. I was fortunate enough to see "The Last 5 Years," "Cinderella," "Pippin," and "Fuerza Bruta." All we fantastic in their own way. However, I must rank "Pippin" in a class of its own. If there is ANY way for you to get to New York to see it, do it!

I am currently sitting at the apartment complex where I've been put up for rehearsal for another ship. This time I'll be heading back to the Amsterdam on a four month contract in Alaska. Today was the first day of rehearsal and it went pretty well. We are starting to learn our "welcome aboard" show called "Listen to the Music." I performed this show on my last ship, but there are parts that are different as cast size and makeup is different. Fingers crossed for a mostly stress-free process.

I hope that this finds you well and in good spirits. I will attempt to be better about keeping you up to date with what is going on, but...well, we saw what happened last time.

Sending love to you and yours.

Until next time,

J

Red Beaches, Turkish Lamps, and Rain. Oh My!

Hello!  How are you?  I hope that you are doing well and feeling blessed beyond belief.  I am also hoping that someone is actually reading my blog, but I digress.

Things are going well here on the Nieuw Amsterdam.  Since my last update, we have successfully put our newest cast member, Casey, into all of our shows.  This means that our near two-month onboard rehearsal period has come to an end!  The rehearsals and onstage blocking sessions all went incredibly well thanks to the leadership of our dance captain, Peter, and the overall supportive energy of the cast.  It made my job as company manager very easy as I did not have to have any "let's just focus and get the job done" talks because everyone came in with that attitude in place!  Fantastic.

Aside from rehearsing, I was able to get off in some interesting and beautiful ports of call.  We were scheduled to anchor just outside of Mykonos, Greece and use tender boats to go ashore.  However, the wind that day was very strong and caused the sea swells to rise to a height greater than the tenders, so the Captain had to make the call to cancel our visit.  We moved right on to our next port of Kusadasi, Turkey.  We arrived around 7:00pm and were there until 7:00pm the following day.  This was the first time that I had been there at night.  I have been fortunate enough to visit this port on other ships, but we always left in the early afternoon and we also always had a show on those days, so my time off the ship was very limited.  Excited with the prospect of seeing what nighttime in Kusadasi was all about, I set off to wander around.  I walked through the "Grand Bazaar" area, which is stall after stall of locals selling local crafts and other retailers selling very expensive rugs, leather goods, and jewelry.  I happened upon a shop that had a gorgeous display of glass-mosaic lamps and lanterns.  I walked in and struck up a conversation with the shopkeeper and began the process of selecting a lamp from the hundred designs on display.  I selected a gorgeous light blue, broken-glass type with a deep bronze base and topper.  I also purchased three hanging lanterns of various designs, but all in the blue, silver, and white color scheme.  I was feeling quite pleased with these beautiful lamps, so I decided that there had been enough shopping.  I set out to walk along the water, down a street lined with outdoor cafes, restaurants, and a surprising amount of pedestrians.  This really seemed like the place to be just after sunset in Kusadasi.  I found a cafe that had an open view of the early evening horizon and sat down for a coffee, banana crepe (yum!), and some free internet connection.  It was a wonderful evening in what felt like a completely different place than the daytime version.

The following day, Patrick and I set out to do a little more shopping by taking one another to the stores where we had each purchased lamps.  I bought two from the store he had gone to the previous evening and he did the same at the store where I had purchased mine.  We continued to walk around and take in all the sights and sounds of this bustling, seaside Turkish town before heading back to the ship for a rehearsal for our show that evening.

Another new experience was a visit to "The Red Beach" (Kokkini Beach) in Santorini.  I have visited Santorini many times this contract and have gone someplace new each time.  (You can refer back to previous posts for all of those adventures.)  This time, Patrick and I got off with a plan to rent an ATV and drive to the southern part of the island where the Red Beach was located.  We got off the tender boat and saw that the line for the cable car that takes you up to the town was far too long to wait in, so we decided to take a donkey up the hill instead.  (Well, by "we" I mean Patrick suggested that we do it in the interest of saving time.  A donkey ride up hundreds of steep, slippery steps will never be my first choice.  :) )  Patrick and his behemoth beast of burden made it up the hill before me and my frail donkey had made it three quarters of the way.  Luckily, I finally made it all the way up, thanked my hardworking transportation and we headed off to get our ATV.

The red cliffs of "The Red Beach"

The ride south was absolutely gorgeous.  There were so many views of the open ocean and the sloped outer edges of the island.  It was a moment that I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming.  (Let's take a moment to pause and show some appreciation for all of the blessings in our lives.  *le sigh*)  We arrived at Kokkini Beach in about twenty minutes, which was a surprise as it looked much farther away on the map.  We joined the line of other eager visitors and began our small hike to the bottom of a huge red gorge where a medium-sized pebble beach awaited to welcome us.  We rented two beach chairs and an umbrella (which was mostly for me as I wanted to at least have the option of shade) and tip-toed into the Aegean Sea.  The water was a gorgeous shade of bluish-green, almost teal, and surprisingly chilly for late August, but it was wonderful once we gave in and dove under the surface.  We spent a bit of time treading water and taking in all of the natural beauty of this part of the island before heading back to our chairs for a little lounge in the sun.  Well, Patrick did all of the sun lounging.  I sat under the umbrella and played games on his iPad.  Hey, I got in the water and I was at a beach, it was still quite a change from the norm!  We eventually packed up and headed back to our ATV to make the journey back to Fira (the area where the ship drops you off) for some lunch.

Heading down to Kokkini Beach

Jump in the line, rock your body in time.  Okay, it's The Red Beach!

We found a relaxing outdoor restaurant covered with grape vines and trees and had a delicious seafood lunch.  Santorini is certainly somewhere I would like to vacation at, especially for the freedom to decide for myself when it's time to leave!  However, we had to leave or we would have missed the ship and risked potential job termination.  No, thank you!

I am now back in Dubrovnik, Croatia where I went cliff jumping with fellow cast members.  The best news is that it is raining today!  I have not seen rain in so long that it is a welcome sight today.  I believe that many people in the cast feel the same way, so at least I'm not the only crazy one.

I'd love to hear how you're doing and what you've been up to, so please do not hesitate to contact me through a comment here, an e-mail, or link to your own blog!

Take care and may you continue to be blessed in all that you do!

But for now, until then...

-Joey

:: Beauté, Grâce, Férocité, et Perfection ::

I'm sitting at an outdoor cafe in Split, Croatia and enjoying a solid internet connection, but I must apologize that this is not an update on my travels.  I came across the picture below and I had to share it.  Ladies and gentlemen, I hope and pray that you are healthy, happy, and thriving.  Take care of yourselves and celebrate all the beauty in your lives.

You could start by celebrating the following example of beauty, grace, ferocity, and perfection.  I give you, Marion Cotillard.

-Joey