gay /ɡā/ (of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man)

When it comes to being gay, we’re living in a pretty confusing time. We constantly hear about how far we’ve come, and how people are more accepting than ever, but we’re stuck with a government that’s unwilling to stand up for our rights, and depending where we live, many of us still experience homophobia on a regular basis. As straight people flood your timeline with engagements and baby announcements, it can feel like your space to express yourself is as small as ever.

So it might not always be easy, but I’ve got a challenge for you in 2019: make this your gayest year yet. Whether this means coming out for the first time, or buying yet another piece of RuPaul’s Drag Race merchandise, it’s time to work on living your queer identity to the fullest, in every part of your life. Think of these as your gay resolutions for the new year, except I’m not going to tell you to go to the gym. You do you.

Family

I’m not saying you should show up to your Grandma’s Easter brunch in a leather harness, but there are lots of steps you can take to be your authentic self with your family this year. Of course, the biggest challenge in this process is coming out. Many of us are fortunate enough to have positive coming out experiences, but no matter the circumstances, coming out is still a stressful personal journey. Of course, you should never do anything that makes you feel unsafe, but if you’re still weighing when and how to come out to your family, I encourage you to do it sooner rather than later. Even if you face criticism from some, there are millions of us waiting to welcome you into the LGBTQ family.

If you’ve already navigated the waters of coming out, good for you! But that doesn’t mean your work with your family is done. Lots of us have family members that are supposedly supportive, but would obviously rather not discuss the fact that you’re never going to bring home a partner of the opposite sex. This year, it’s time that you push those boundaries of comfort, and have real discussions with your loved ones. It’s 20-f*cking-19, and Aunt Trish should really be able to understand that being gay isn’t a “lifestyle choice.”

Friends

Friendships in the gay community are tough. There’s no other way to say it: it can be really difficult to meet new people without immediately being judged as a potential sexual partner. Girlfriends are great, but sometimes you just want to spend quality time with some good old-fashioned queens. If you’re struggling to find your gay group, try getting a little creative this year. Step out of your comfort zone, and you might just find your people. If there’s someone you were sort of friends with in college, but haven’t talked to in a while, reach out and suggest platonic plans. Most people are more open to new friends than you think, so getting drinks once could turn into a great friendship, and they probably have other friends that you’d like too.

One thing that I will suggest trying, if you haven’t is going out solo. Showing up to a gay bar with no squad or date in tow can be very daunting, but what’s the worst that could happen? If there’s nothing interesting going on, just have a couple drinks at the bar and call it a night. But if you find a place with a great drag show or fun dancing, it’s a great chance to meet new people! You might not find a best friend this way, but it’s still a great way to get out of the house (which I only recommend in small doses, but that’s another issue for another post) and have a little fun. 

Relationships

So full disclosure, I’m very single right now. Therefore, I won’t pretend to preach like I’m some sort of relationship guru.  I feel like we talk all the time about how gay guys just want to have random sex, or how it’s so hard to find a boyfriend, or other major generalizations like that, but it’s not so simple. Everyone is looking for something different, and it’s just a matter of finding the right match. In 2019, try focusing on putting your personal wants and needs above any preconceived notions about what you should want. Listen to your instincts, and don’t be afraid to switch up what you’re looking for. If you’re in the middle of a slutty phase, enjoy it!

But if you’re at a point where you’re really craving a deep connection, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. If you tell a guy that you’re looking for a relationship and he doesn’t respond well, then just cut your losses and move on! There are plenty of people out there, and you shouldn’t be wasting your time with someone who has different needs than you. If you can’t wait for someone who will go on gay trips to Disney World with you, then go out there and find them!

So whether you have some major life decisions ahead, or you just want to try something different and meet some new people, there’s never been a better time to get out there and be gay.  Above all, let’s all love each other, and have a great, gay 2019. Be well, beauties.

New Year, Who Dis?

2018 was pretty fantastic. I was fortunate enough to spend almost all of it with some of the kindest, funniest, hardworking, and genuinely caring people. Showboat peeps, love and miss ya! I was also fortunate enough to live with two of the best humans I’ve ever known. To them I say, A Merry CherryBerry to us all!

I am now sitting in my cabin on the Norwegian Dawn, just starting a six month contract as a Singer/Dancer at sea. I get to work with some pretty stellar humans and have been given the opportunity to grow as a performer, thanks to the challenging material and incredible guidance from my directors. 

There are terrible things happening all over the world, and I can’t pretend that everything is peaches. However, I can say that in this current moment, I’m pretty damn happy. Moving forward into a new year, I’m going to challenge myself to truly examine all aspects of my life and how I play a part in the lives of others. We all cast ripples from ourselves with each action we take, each thought we think, and every word we utter aloud. I’m going to try my best to make sure that my ripples help others move forward, rather than causing them to falter or sink. Light is love, and love is king (and queen), beauties. Be well today and every day! 💙 

-Joey

A Gathering of Angels Appeared Above My Head

Hello, beauties!  I hope this finds you in good spirits and having a great start to your week.

Today was the office run of the last show my cast learned!  It went really well and we moved on to a run of the show we learned last week.  After all of that fun, we started reviewing everything we have learned in our six weeks of rehearsals. It was a physically demanding day, but it was good to check in and know that I have everything that I’ve been taught tucked neatly away in my brain.  Tomorrow we will run and clean everything we didn’t do today, one production show and two bumpers, which are shorter shows or stand-alone numbers.

On Wednesday we board the plane to San Juan to meet our new home for the next six months!  I’m so incredibly excited to get onboard and see what life at sea is like with a new company.  I was fortunate enough to work for another cruise line, Holland America Line, for many years, so I’m used to things being a certain way.  However, it’s nice to mix things up and try new things, such as working with a new company!

I’m sure that I’ll have much more of an update once I’m onboard and putting all of our shows up.  For now, just know that I’m feeling incredibly grateful for this experience!  I pray that you are surrounded by love and light! Be well, beauties!

Joey

Here we are!  The Norwegian Dawn Cast 8.0

The Magic of Ezra Miller

I implore you to read the following interview with Ezra Miller for Playboy magazine. He is unabashedly queer, heartbreakingly honest, and incredibly thought provoking. What he has to say has just rocked my world. Enjoy, beauties!


“The Magic of Ezra Miller”

He’s Back, Folks!

It seems like only yesterday that I started this collection of experiences and musings, and yet it feels like a lifetime since I’ve posted.  I cannot promise a weekly post, but I will do my best to have one at least biweekly.

So much has happened in all areas of my life since I fell of the blogging train.  Please bear with me as I attempt to provide you with an abridged life update.

For the past two years, I have been working in Branson, Missouri.  People call it “The Vegas of The Midwest.”  It is actually a lot like Vegas in the fact that what happens there should definitely stay there.  I was fortunate enough to work with and become close with many incredible souls, and for that I will be forever grateful for my time there.  Perhaps I will write a more in depth post about actually living in Branson, but perhaps I will not.  You’ll just have to keep checking back!  I’m sure you’re just beside yourself with excitement!  What happened next?  Ah, yes.  I left Branson.

I have been itching to return to performing on the high seas for quite some time, and that time has finally arrived.  I’m currently in Tampa, FL, rehearsing for a contract with Norwegian Cruise Line.  I will be sailing aboard The Dawn in The Caribbean, Canada, and New England for six months.  I’m feeling very grateful for this experience with a new company!  I am a Singer/Dancer in a cast of 12 and they are just lovely people! We have learned our Welcome Aboard show, some other dances that we’ll do around the ship on various nights throughout the cruise, and our first full production show so far.  We are currently in the middle of learning our second production show.

I’m very sore from dancing for 8 hours six days a week, but I’m loving every bit of it!

More details to come, so please check back in every once in awhile!

It’s our day off, so I’m going to get a start on my laundry and catch up on my stories.  I hope that you have a wonderful day, wherever you are.  Be well, beauties!

Sometimes I Write Poems

familiarity - a façade of possibility

attention misdirected - the day to day

longing - a wool coat and i’m sweating

forward - letters to What May Have Been Lane

shifting, growing, losing, trying, crying, fighting, hoping

wanting, drowning, smiling, laughing, rising, falling, coping

envy like ivy ensnares well-meaning intent

absolute uncertainty, the mask i present

soaked by the rain of lukewarm affection

i’m sinking and screaming with little to no mention

shifting, growing, trying, losing, fighting, crying, coping

drowning, wanting, smiling, laughing, rising, falling, hoping

time is a healer again and again

time is a healer again and again

time is a healer again and again

how many times until time is the end

trying, losing, fighting, crying, drowning, falling…

coping

coping

coping

To Those Experiencing Life

"The truth is, everything you’re afraid of is going to happen to you. You’ll be poor. You’ll get dumped. You’ll lose someone you love. You’ll be ridiculous. You’ll make mistakes. Oh yes, you’ll make mistakes. You’ll make so many mistakes!!! Sometimes you’ll feel completely lost.
But whatever happens, you’ll always have yourself.
Your sense of humor, your crazy theories, your love for life, your curiosity about others. Your ever-changing vision of the world — all of these things will stay intact.
And you’ll realize that right when you think you’re going to fall into pieces and crash on the floor, that there will be loving arms there to catch you, and whether that support comes from close friends or strangers, they will be there. Learn to recognize it, and give yourself over to those loving arms.  Learn to let go and give yourself over to loving arms. Learn to see the magic of existence.
Learn to follow all those invisible threads that you’ll weave together just by being yourself, always progressing toward more light, more acceptance, and more truth.
You also need to know that you will be loved, and you will be successful. And all those difficult moments that came before will protect you from being afraid. Stop worrying. You’re going to see the world, and meet people, and learn to love them. You’ll learn tenderness. Toward others, and toward yourself. You won’t be so afraid anymore. Don’t be so afraid, sweetheart."

GARANCE DORÉ

"You must be willing to change. You must be willing to break the deal you made with the devils within. You must be willing to leave the past and not be tempted to rebound when times are tough.
You must be willing to let go of everything and anyone that takes you back to your sins. You must be willing to have hope. You must be willing to have hope that you can change and that you will and that you will be better.
You must believe you are worthy of change and you are worthy of improvement and you are worthy of being the best.
You must be willing to set aside your negative notions about life, about hardships, about people, about things, about yourself. You must be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself while looking at the world move around you.
Get up and make something of yourself."

JACK BARAKAT

"Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes.
Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. 
You’re doing just fine."

charlotte ericksson

be well, beauties.

The Unbearable Heaviness of Giving an F...

*WARNING:  There is some colorful language ahead.  If swearing offends you, well...fuck off.  I kid!  I kid!  Seriously though, I will be dropping some f-bombs.*

I have spent almost my whole life– 31 years–  caring far too much about offending people, worrying if I’m cool enough for them, or asking myself if they are judging me.

I can’t take it anymore. It’s stupid, and it’s not good for my well being. It has made me a punching bag–  a flighty, nervous wuss. But worse than that, it has made me someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything. It has made me someone who stood in the middle, far too often, and not where I cared to stand, for fear of alienating others. No more. Not today.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is different.

We’re going to talk about the cure. We’re going to talk about what’s necessary. We’re going to talk about the truth.

Do you wonder if someone is talking shit about you? Whether your friends will approve? Have you become conflict-avoidant? Spineless?

Well, it’s time you started not giving a fuck.

FACT NUMBER 1. People are judging you right now.

Yes, it’s really happening right at this moment. Some people don’t like you, and guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of coercion, toadying, or pandering to their interests will help. In fact, the opposite is often true; the more you stand for something, the more they respect you, whether it’s grudgingly or not.

What people truly respect is when you draw the line and say “you will go no further.” They may not like this behavior, but so what? These are people who don’t like you anyway, why should you attempt to please people who don’t care for you in the first place?

Right. Then, there’s Internet trolls. That’s a whole other thing.

Regular people are fine– you don’t actually hear it when they’re talking behind your back. But on the web, you do see it, which changes the dynamic drastically. They have an impact because they know you have your vanity searches, etc. But the real problem with Internet haters is that they confirm your paranoid delusion that everyone out there secretly hates you.

Thankfully, that’s not actually true. So the first noble truth is that most people don’t even care that you’re alive. Embrace this, my friends, for it is true freedom. The world is vast and you are small, and therefore you may do as you wish and cast your thoughts of those who dislike it to the side.

FACT NUMBER 2. You don’t need everyone to like you.

This stuff is crazy, I know, but it’s cool, you’ll get used to it. Here’s the next thing: not only do most people not know that you exist, and some are judging you, but it totally does not matter even if they are.

How liberating this is may not even hit you yet, but it will. Check this out: when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.

You know when they (yes, the proverbial "them") say “the best revenge is a life well lived”? Well, this is true, but it isn’t the whole truth. A life well lived is great, yes, but it cannot happen while you are sweating about who your detractors are and what they think. What you have to do, what you have no choice but to do, is accept it and move on.

So not giving a fuck is actually a necessary precedent to create a good life for yourself. It can’t happen without it. That’s why you have to begin today.

FACT NUMBER 3. It’s your people that matter.

Ok, so you’ve adjusted to the fact that most people in the world are barely aware of your existence, and you’re also conscious of the fact that those who don’t like you are in the obscenely small minority and don’t actually matter. Awesome. Next you need to realize that the people who do care about you, and no one else, are those you need to focus on.

Relationships are weird. Once we’re in one (with family, a spouse, whatever), we promptly begin to take the other person for granted and move on to impressing strangers instead– say, our boss. Then, once we’ve impressed our boss, we start taking him for granted too, and so on, in an endless cycle of apathy. It’s like we always prefer to impress and charm the new than to work on what we already have.

But these people– your champions– they understand your quest or your cause. They make you feel good when you’re around them, make you laugh or make you feel like you can just be yourself. They make you feel relaxed or at ease. You’ve shared things with them. They’re important. Focus on them instead.

FACT NUMBER 4. Those who don’t give a fuck change the world. The rest do not.

So I’m reading this horrible book right now by Stephen King called the Long Walk. It’s a contest where people walk without sleeping or resting, and if they do stop, they are killed. (That’s actually every Stephen King book– “there’s a clown, but it kills!” “There’s a car, but it kills!” etc.)

I suspect this book is a metaphor for war, but it also captures perseverance very well. What it takes to move past anything is to simply realize that your obstacle is unimportant, and that it can be dismissed. This is true whether you’re running a marathon or trying to get to Mars.

If you dismiss the things that do not matter; if you remove those things from your mind and focus on what must be done; if you understand that your time is limited and decide to work now; only then will you be able to get to the finish line. Otherwise, you will be dissuaded into living a life you aren’t interested in.

Side note: You need to handle failure and obscurity better. You may be in a tough place right now where you feel lonely or like a loser. No worries, we’ve all been there. But it’s time for you to realize how common these things are, and that they’re experienced by even the most successful and happiest people in the world. Those people get past them, and you will too.

The eye is watching

You want to know something? This actually has nothing to do with anyone else. It has everything to do with you.

Everyone has an internetal eye. It always watching. It has been slowly constructed by society at large and by your friends and family, and it checks you for unacceptable behavior. If you have had it around for long enough, you actually start to believe that the eye is you, and that you’re “being reasonable” or some other rationalization.

But the eye isn’t you at all.  It is a prison, and you have justified its existence by obeying it. It’s strong because you let it be strong.

But the secret, the part that’s amazing, is that it can’t do anything to stop you, even if it wanted to. It’s an eye. It can only watch. The rest of you is free to act as you wish.

How to get back your self-respect in three easy steps

STEP 1. Accept, or deal with, awkwardness.

It’s widely known that interviewers get their best material by being quiet and allowing silence to force words out of a politician or celebrity.

You may be uncomfortable with silence. I know I still am. But I have been working on it and have to say that it is a much more serene state to be in than trying to cover it up with random babbling just to fill up the air. This is one type of awkwardness, a kind that you should feel comfortable about and learn to live with.

Another kind of social awkwardness is this in-between space where you might have done something wrong or been wronged, but don’t say anything. I’ve been given a few harsh lessons in my time and come away realizing that the freedom that comes from talking about an uncomfortable truth is better than the comfort of avoiding that talk altogether.  This is much better than awkwardness. It’s clear, it’s not passive aggressive, and you know where you stand. Start doing this immediately.

STEP 2. Tell the truth.

You don’t need to be an asshole, but the world does not need another conflict-avoidant, evasive person. No one wants another individual who steps in line with everyone else. The status quo is doing fine without you, so it’s up to you to call bullshit if you see it.

Don’t mind-read either. Telling the truth means seeing the truth, not adding your own layer of sugar coating or suspected emotion on top of it.

STEP 3. Begin your new life.

This step can’t happen without the others, but once you’ve gotten here, you can safely begin to explore a whole new world– one where anything you do is fine as long as it isn’t seriously hurting anyone else. Wanna explore old abandoned buildings? No problem, as long as you’re ready to live with the consequences. Feel like hanging from hooks or getting whipped by a dominatrix? Go ahead, but be safe about it.

Once you begin on this path, you start to discover that practically everyone is capable of understanding the weird things that you do. In fact, it makes you interesting and worth paying attention to, further feeding into your plans of world domination, should you have any.

But none of this fun can happen without you recognizing, and walking past, the eye. Doing this is a powerful act of control which builds momentum and makes you strong.

Take back your self respect. Do it today– try it right now. Wear something ugly. Do something stupid. Tell someone the truth.

It doesn’t fucking matter.

Oh yeah, one more thing.  Be well, beauties.

"It's a Wonderful Feeling…"

‘Tis the season, folks!  I know, I know.  It isn’t even Thanksgiving yet, but I have been in full Christmas spirit since the beginning of November.  I realize that many of you out there are not so keen on the holly and the ivy just yet, but this is my blog and I shall do what I want.  All of that to say that I hope this finds you in festive spirits, surrounded by those near and dear to your hearts.

In shortly over a week I am heading back to Los Angeles to begin rehearsal for the Nieuw Amsterdam.  Yes, that is a cruise ship, and yes, I have been on it before.  It was, by far, my favorite contract to date and I am very excited to return.  (Sidenote:  there are people from all of my previous contracts that I love very much.  The Nieuw A was the best due to the combination of shows, cast, and itinerary.  Also, it is simply my personal opinion.)  The itinerary for the ship will be a bit different this time.  We will be starting in the Caribbean before crossing the Atlantic to the beautiful Mediterranean, where we will enjoy several overnights in ports such as:  Barcelona, Venice, and Istanbul.  Buh-leh-sing!  I will update you on the full itinerary in a later post.  Let me just say that these ports of call are fantastic!  If anyone is interested in taking a free cruise, do let me know.  You just have to cover your airfare to Europe.  E-mail me for more information:  j_kuba@yahoo.com.

Before all of that excitement, I will be in L.A. for six weeks of intense rehearsing.  I do have the added benefit of knowing all of the shows, but a brush-up never hurt anyone, right?  I am very much looking forward to this time of reunions and, after the past few weeks, activity.

What are you up to?  Tell me everything, darlings!

I will post more about rehearsal and my time in LaLa Land as it happens.  (I know, you’ve heard that before.)  Okay, I cannot promise that it will be timely, but I promise that it will happen…eventually.

 For now, take care of yourselves.  Enjoy all the joy and blessings of twerking your turkeys while having a kiki with your loved ones.

Muah!

Making Over the Soul

makeup, n. cosmetics such as lipstick or powder applied to the face, used to enhance or alter the appearance.

I begin each day by putting on makeup.  If you have ever met me, or seen me up close, you will know that I do not actually wear lipstick, blush, eyeshadow, or mascara.  I do, however, wear many layers of what I call, emotional makeup.

I start with a solid foundation of confidence.  I believe it is best to choose a shade of confidence that is not much deeper than the shade that you naturally possess.  I do not want to put forth an air of complete confidence, for what if someone were to challenge it too harshly?  It is only cosmetic after all.  My goal is to establish that I have an adequate amount of confidence.  No more, and certainly no less.

The next step is the application of optimism on my eyelids.  This is done so that when people look at my eyes, they see a glimmer of hope.  I have deeply-set eyes, so there is not a lot of room for the eyeshadow, but it is the most important step in the emotional beautification process.  I fancy myself as an optimist, but there are days when the belief that good will ultimately triumph over evil seems to have set sail, slowly drifting away over the horizon.  On days such as these I apply two different shades, one for the hope in the present, and one for the hope in my future.  If it is a particularly wonderful day, I may add a layer of shimmery bliss.

The lips can be quite difficult.  I adorn my lips with a subtle shade of kindness.  I find myself having to reapply this kindness many, many, many times throughout the day.  There are the obvious culprits, eating and drinking, who slowly remove the color, but there are other factors that contribute to the demise of kindness.  The world we find ourselves living in can be anything but kind, so I find it paramount to keep an extra tube of kindness on your person at all times.  There are many times when it is difficult to reach or the moment is simply inopportune, but I put more on as soon as I can.  I am working on my own brand of kindness that acts more like a lipstain.

I conclude my emotional alteration by applying a layer of finishing powder known more commonly as empathy.  I am sure you have heard the saying, “Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.”  Boy, I wish that were an actual practice in our society.  Could you imagine having to physically put on someone’s shoes and walk a mile of their life for them?  How many grudges would never be held?  How many feuds would never ignite?

I am not saying or admitting that I am not the person I purport to be.  For when people use actual cosmetics, they are still themselves…just enhanced.  The attributes, skills, talents, and capacities for confidence, optimism, kindness, and empathy are already on my face.  I simply enhance them in order to shine brighter in this often arduous and unjust world.  I also just want to be pretty, but I digress.

What is the reason for this nonsensical journey through the Mac counter of the soul?  At a very base level, people should focus more on their emotional appearance.  We are incredibly complex creatures, often wonderful and even magical.  However, all of that wonder and magic are too quickly stripped away by war, greed, jealousy, insensitivity, and self-loathing.  The time to paint your soul is now.  Let us stand together in a united front of beauty, justice, hope, strength, compassion, and joy.

Maybe you’re born with it…maybe it’s Maybelline.

This Is Supposed to Help?

What did you really want from me?
Were you seeking connection or just fulfilling your own selfish desires?
What happened?

When did you know that you didn't really care about me?
When you told me that you were done being concerned about my feelings, did you not realize that that fact had been clear for quite some time?  Jerk.

How's your new quest to collect shiny people going?
Are you too obsessed with yourself to realize that I'm still here?

Do you remember how you treated me like a burden?  Fuck you.

(Why do I still care?  That's the worst part.)

I was hoping that this might be cathartic, but it's really just reignited my anger.  Wait, maybe that's part of the process.

In any event, fuck you.

The MS Narnia?

"It's okay.  Things work differently on ships."

I would like to clear the air on the validity of the above quotation.  I believe it to be one hundred percent false.  Please allow me to explain and, in the process, vent my frustrations.  You may feel free to bail now should you so choose.

When you embark on a contract working on a cruise ship, you do not pass through any type of Narnian wardrobe or threshold where all current relationships, problems, fears, aspirations, or general sense of decorum disappear.  The latter only applies if one begins with a sense of decorum; that is a topic for another blog.  For example, if you are in a romantic relationship while your feet are on dry land, that relationship does not disintegrate once your feet are on a structure that is floating in the water.  Now, if you and your significant other have discussed taking a break while you are away, so be it.  However, you can not issue a blanket statement of how "things work differently" as a sign of carte blanche to gallivant through the world of, ahem, extracurricular physical activities.  In short, you should not feel free to be reckless with the feelings of others just because you believe you are in the magical land of "ships."  Your current situation may have been altered in terms of geography, but, at the core, it has not changed.  Does your relationship or friendship evaporate each time you head out of town?  I pray that it does not.

I have also met too many people that seem to entirely give up any hope for the future while working on a ship.  Emotions do tend to ebb and flow like the tide in day to day life.  This is not a unique experience to seafarers.  I understand that there will be times when one feels down in the dumps, but you can choose to do something about that.  You have the choice to rise above whatever is getting you down and to seek a sunnier plain, for lack of a better term.  There are so many people that I have worked with who form an apathetic shell around themselves while at sea.  Why is this?  Perhaps I should plainly ask, "Why do you not care about anything anymore?  Do you need to talk?"  That would only work if the other party is interested in speaking about subjects that move past the usual, "How many contracts have you done?" type of conversing.  Take heart!  We, as human beings maneuvering our way through life, are all in the same boat…in this case, quite literally.  I have troubles, too!  How about talking it out?  Let us help one another on the journey of living rather than metaphorically donning the life preserver, jumping overboard, and silently riding out the storm.

I would want people to realize that this life at sea is still life.  It is a very real, very tangible, very live life.  How exciting to remain engaged with the "outside world!"

So, the next time someone approaches me with a lewd comment or apathetic view joined with an obligatory "Oh man, ship life."  I will smile and say, "Life is beautiful, if you want it to be."

I Can't. I'm In Tech.

The summit has been reached.  After a week of early mornings and late nights, the cast of the ms Amsterdam is finally up and running with four production shows.  The long hours of rehearsing and implementing all of the technical aspects were validated by an overwhelmingly positive reception from each audience.  They like us.  They really like us!

Performing three shows a night has taken quite a bit of getting used to.  I have found that taking a vow of silence between each show to be incredibly beneficial.  I have given thought to learning sign language for such situations, but, in the interest of time, I have decided to wear a small chalkboard around my neck.  Incidentally, I have become a master of writing upside down.  This will make me a better person, right?

I was fortunate enough to get off of the ship in two ports last week.  However, now that there will be less rehearsing, I will be able to take full advantage of my time in all four ports.  I am certainly looking forward to exploring Vancouver again.  On a side note, if you ever get the opportunity to visit Vancouver, do it.  I look at this amazing city as the child of Seattle and New York City.  Could it get any better?

Pictures and further updates on my Alaskan adventures will follow, so please prepare yourselves.  I will assume that your breath is bated.  :)

I pray that you are thriving and surrounded by laughter, love, and goodness.

Until next time…

J

Taking Time and Seeing the Good

Well, the time has come to set sail once again.  I am headed back to the MS Amsterdam for four months in sunny, summertime Alaska.  I am anticipating many hikes or simple journeys into nature where I can decompress and try to slow down all the frenetic thoughts that have been swirling through my mind for the last few months.  There is nothing quite as refreshing as taking the time to check in with yourself and allow your brain to recharge.  This is something I do not do as often as I should.  However, it is a new year.  Well, it was a new year not too long ago, so why not make a new start?

I look forward to providing you with updates from the heart and mind of a man traveling with little more than his hopes, dreams, fears, and ambition.  To those of you who have contributed to my journey thus far, thank you.  Your support and, in some cases, disapproving energy have been exactly what I have needed.

Until we meet in this virtual cafe again, allow me to give you a challenge; a challenge that I will also be taking on.  I urge you to find the goodness in every situation.  I do mean in EVERY situation.  Go ahead, give it a shot.  When you find yourself starting to complain about something, take two seconds to fish around in your brain and extract a ray of sunshine.  I am not saying it will be easy, or even possible in every circumstance, but what if you find that it could be?  You will never know until you take a chance to surround yourself with the good.  

I pray that you will be well and feel blessed.  

Until next time,
Joey

Back In L.A.

Well, it appears that I was horrible about keeping this here site up to date. Allow me to summarize everything that happened in the space between my last post and now with the word amazing.

I could not have asked for a better group of people to frolic in Europe and the Caribbean with. I just finished my time with them a mere ten days ago, but it feels like much longer. Upon completion of my contract on the Nieuw Amsterdam, I joined two of my cast mates for a trip to Disney World and Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. It was an absolute blast. After that, I traveled with one of them to NYC for six days of merriment in the greatest city in the world. I was fortunate enough to see "The Last 5 Years," "Cinderella," "Pippin," and "Fuerza Bruta." All we fantastic in their own way. However, I must rank "Pippin" in a class of its own. If there is ANY way for you to get to New York to see it, do it!

I am currently sitting at the apartment complex where I've been put up for rehearsal for another ship. This time I'll be heading back to the Amsterdam on a four month contract in Alaska. Today was the first day of rehearsal and it went pretty well. We are starting to learn our "welcome aboard" show called "Listen to the Music." I performed this show on my last ship, but there are parts that are different as cast size and makeup is different. Fingers crossed for a mostly stress-free process.

I hope that this finds you well and in good spirits. I will attempt to be better about keeping you up to date with what is going on, but...well, we saw what happened last time.

Sending love to you and yours.

Until next time,

J

Red Beaches, Turkish Lamps, and Rain. Oh My!

Hello!  How are you?  I hope that you are doing well and feeling blessed beyond belief.  I am also hoping that someone is actually reading my blog, but I digress.

Things are going well here on the Nieuw Amsterdam.  Since my last update, we have successfully put our newest cast member, Casey, into all of our shows.  This means that our near two-month onboard rehearsal period has come to an end!  The rehearsals and onstage blocking sessions all went incredibly well thanks to the leadership of our dance captain, Peter, and the overall supportive energy of the cast.  It made my job as company manager very easy as I did not have to have any "let's just focus and get the job done" talks because everyone came in with that attitude in place!  Fantastic.

Aside from rehearsing, I was able to get off in some interesting and beautiful ports of call.  We were scheduled to anchor just outside of Mykonos, Greece and use tender boats to go ashore.  However, the wind that day was very strong and caused the sea swells to rise to a height greater than the tenders, so the Captain had to make the call to cancel our visit.  We moved right on to our next port of Kusadasi, Turkey.  We arrived around 7:00pm and were there until 7:00pm the following day.  This was the first time that I had been there at night.  I have been fortunate enough to visit this port on other ships, but we always left in the early afternoon and we also always had a show on those days, so my time off the ship was very limited.  Excited with the prospect of seeing what nighttime in Kusadasi was all about, I set off to wander around.  I walked through the "Grand Bazaar" area, which is stall after stall of locals selling local crafts and other retailers selling very expensive rugs, leather goods, and jewelry.  I happened upon a shop that had a gorgeous display of glass-mosaic lamps and lanterns.  I walked in and struck up a conversation with the shopkeeper and began the process of selecting a lamp from the hundred designs on display.  I selected a gorgeous light blue, broken-glass type with a deep bronze base and topper.  I also purchased three hanging lanterns of various designs, but all in the blue, silver, and white color scheme.  I was feeling quite pleased with these beautiful lamps, so I decided that there had been enough shopping.  I set out to walk along the water, down a street lined with outdoor cafes, restaurants, and a surprising amount of pedestrians.  This really seemed like the place to be just after sunset in Kusadasi.  I found a cafe that had an open view of the early evening horizon and sat down for a coffee, banana crepe (yum!), and some free internet connection.  It was a wonderful evening in what felt like a completely different place than the daytime version.

The following day, Patrick and I set out to do a little more shopping by taking one another to the stores where we had each purchased lamps.  I bought two from the store he had gone to the previous evening and he did the same at the store where I had purchased mine.  We continued to walk around and take in all the sights and sounds of this bustling, seaside Turkish town before heading back to the ship for a rehearsal for our show that evening.

Another new experience was a visit to "The Red Beach" (Kokkini Beach) in Santorini.  I have visited Santorini many times this contract and have gone someplace new each time.  (You can refer back to previous posts for all of those adventures.)  This time, Patrick and I got off with a plan to rent an ATV and drive to the southern part of the island where the Red Beach was located.  We got off the tender boat and saw that the line for the cable car that takes you up to the town was far too long to wait in, so we decided to take a donkey up the hill instead.  (Well, by "we" I mean Patrick suggested that we do it in the interest of saving time.  A donkey ride up hundreds of steep, slippery steps will never be my first choice.  :) )  Patrick and his behemoth beast of burden made it up the hill before me and my frail donkey had made it three quarters of the way.  Luckily, I finally made it all the way up, thanked my hardworking transportation and we headed off to get our ATV.

The red cliffs of "The Red Beach"

The ride south was absolutely gorgeous.  There were so many views of the open ocean and the sloped outer edges of the island.  It was a moment that I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming.  (Let's take a moment to pause and show some appreciation for all of the blessings in our lives.  *le sigh*)  We arrived at Kokkini Beach in about twenty minutes, which was a surprise as it looked much farther away on the map.  We joined the line of other eager visitors and began our small hike to the bottom of a huge red gorge where a medium-sized pebble beach awaited to welcome us.  We rented two beach chairs and an umbrella (which was mostly for me as I wanted to at least have the option of shade) and tip-toed into the Aegean Sea.  The water was a gorgeous shade of bluish-green, almost teal, and surprisingly chilly for late August, but it was wonderful once we gave in and dove under the surface.  We spent a bit of time treading water and taking in all of the natural beauty of this part of the island before heading back to our chairs for a little lounge in the sun.  Well, Patrick did all of the sun lounging.  I sat under the umbrella and played games on his iPad.  Hey, I got in the water and I was at a beach, it was still quite a change from the norm!  We eventually packed up and headed back to our ATV to make the journey back to Fira (the area where the ship drops you off) for some lunch.

Heading down to Kokkini Beach

Jump in the line, rock your body in time.  Okay, it's The Red Beach!

We found a relaxing outdoor restaurant covered with grape vines and trees and had a delicious seafood lunch.  Santorini is certainly somewhere I would like to vacation at, especially for the freedom to decide for myself when it's time to leave!  However, we had to leave or we would have missed the ship and risked potential job termination.  No, thank you!

I am now back in Dubrovnik, Croatia where I went cliff jumping with fellow cast members.  The best news is that it is raining today!  I have not seen rain in so long that it is a welcome sight today.  I believe that many people in the cast feel the same way, so at least I'm not the only crazy one.

I'd love to hear how you're doing and what you've been up to, so please do not hesitate to contact me through a comment here, an e-mail, or link to your own blog!

Take care and may you continue to be blessed in all that you do!

But for now, until then...

-Joey

:: Beauté, Grâce, Férocité, et Perfection ::

I'm sitting at an outdoor cafe in Split, Croatia and enjoying a solid internet connection, but I must apologize that this is not an update on my travels.  I came across the picture below and I had to share it.  Ladies and gentlemen, I hope and pray that you are healthy, happy, and thriving.  Take care of yourselves and celebrate all the beauty in your lives.

You could start by celebrating the following example of beauty, grace, ferocity, and perfection.  I give you, Marion Cotillard.

-Joey

Mediterranean Marvels

Hey there!  I hope that this post finds you in good health, good spirits, and surrounded by light and love.  The Mediterranean summer has certainly been scorching and I've been spending lots of time outdoors in our amazing ports of call.  I have been wearing sunscreen (don't worry, Grandma!) and a hat, but I am still reaching a lovely shade of burnt sienna.  Just this morning, as I was getting my hair cut in the ship salon, the barber asked me if I was Puerto Rican.  Puerto Rican!  I told him no and he asked again.  Apparently he thought I might be unclear of my heritage.  I assured him that, to the best of my knowledge, there is no Hispanic blood in my family.  He didn't seem to believe me.  I guess I should come back and see him after a winter in New York.  He would most likely ask if I were of Scandinavian descent.  Does this mean I should put "ethnically ambiguous" on my resume?  Maybs.

Since my last update, I have been to the Greek island of Thira (Santorini), Catania (Sicily), Naples (Italy), and Civitavecchia (Rome, Italy).  Each experience in these ports was wonderful, although some were longer and more exciting than others.  I'll take a cue from "The Sound of Music" and start at the very beginning, it is a wonderful place to start after all.

Thira (Santorini) is an absolutely magical port.  It is an island formed by a volcanic eruption.  The city's structure rests on the top and sides of very high cliffs in the form of a giant circle.  It is believed to have been the inspiration for the tale of the Lost City of Atlantis, despite what you might have read in "Tales of the City."  Patrick (the leading man of the cast), Sabrina (one of my singing/dancing counterparts), and myself took a cable car ride to the top of the city and started to wander up and down the endless alleyways lined with cafes, shops, and people pedaling handmade goods on card tables or blankets.  We happened upon a very modern cafe and enjoyed some Greek coffee and complimentary WiFi access.  After hours of window shopping and tasting some local wines (which were divine!), we decided to eat at a restaurant that The Travel Channel and Anthony Bourdain recommended.  The food and the service were beyond my expectations for a bustling tourist port.  The meal ended with complimentary Limoncello, a lemon liqueur, and a delicious chocolate dessert.  It was the perfect end to a relaxing day in one of the most beautiful places I have been privileged to visit.

Arriving to the island from the ship

Patrick and I with our ship in the background

Oia, the area across the island from where the ships anchor

                   

Catania is a rather large city on the island of Sicily.  I was surprised at just how large it was considering that in all my travels through the Mediterranean, I had never ported there.  Patrick and myself got off, consulted a map, and decided to just see where we ended up.  (A side-note about Patrick.  Patrick is a genius at simply looking at a map and knowing how to navigate a city.  I thought that my sense of direction was above average, but his is exponentially beyond average.  In essence, I never worry about getting lost in port thanks to Patrick and his "Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego"-ready map skills.)  We made our way through some winding streets toward the main street that runs the length of the "downtown" area.  Along the way we found a beautiful cathedral and stopped to take a look inside.  We also found the campus of a university and what we told ourselves was the student housing area.  It was the seemingly "hip" area with lots of graffiti.  We finally ended up on the "main drag" and found some stores that were having decent sales.  I purchased not one, but two pair of swimming trunks.  I have decided, with much encouragement from certain cast members, to spend more time in the water.  Swimming is just an activity that has fallen off of my radar over the years.  However, the time has come to put down the beach chair and pick up the aquatics.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, Catania.  After a bit of shopping, we made our way back to the ship.  Along the way, we found a fruit stand on the side of the road where we purchased fresh figs.  Have you ever had a fig that was not contained in a Newmanesque cake?  If your answer is no, you must go directly to the grocery store and get some!  They are delicious.  They are sweet, refreshing, and not to be missed.  I cannot believe that it has taken me 28 years to actually try one, but now I am hooked.

The student housing are in Catania...obviously.

                  


Naples, Italy has a feel and style all of its own.  When I compared it to the other Italian ports I've visited, I found it to be more audacious and a bit grittier.  My goal for the day was to take Patrick and Sabrina to a restaurant, Fratelli La Bufala, that my friend, David, took me to on a previous contract.  However, they did not begin serving lunch until 1pm.  We got there around 11:30 and were in no mood or condition to wait that long without sustenance.  We opted for a cafe next door with the thought to have a little nosh and then walk straight over when "Fratelli" began serving.  We enjoyed some bruschetta, Caprese salad, gnocchi, and espresso galore.  Some of our fellow cast mates stopped by our table and told us that we should check out this beautifully-built mall nearby, so we did!  The architecture of this mall was exquisite.  It was full of commercial name brand stores as well as a few small boutiques native to Naples.  (Ian and Joe, if you're reading this, you will be pleased to know that I made some quality selections at Zara.)  We quickly ran out of time before we had to be back on the ship, and by that time we had lost Sabrina.  (Sabrina is a wonderful young lady and has a delightfully free spirit, but she does tend to dart off into stores or alleyways lined with hats or jewelry.  Perhaps I should buy her a necklace with a bell or bells on it, you know, to save time in finding her.)  Patrick and I made it back to the ship and discovered that Sabrina had been looking for us at Fratelli La Bufala, which we did not make it back to.  So, there was no harm done and we were all back on the ship safe and sound.



Rome, the Eternal City, is absolutely breathtaking.  The ship itself ports in Civitavecchia, so you must take a train into Rome proper.  Patrick and Jaclyn (the leading lady of my cast) were able to get off the ship very early, hop on a train and head straight to The Colosseum.  However, I had an Abandon Ship Drill and was not able to get off until around 11:30am.  As soon as my drill was finished, I got off and navigated my way through the Italian train system and met Patrick and Jaclyn at St. Peter's Basilica.  Standing in the huge expanse of stone where the Pope greets thousands of people was a surreal experience.  From there we headed over to Castel Sant'Angelo, (the headquarters for The Illuminati in the "The Da Vinci Code" series) which is everything you would expect an ancient castle to be.  Next on our self-guided, nay Patrick-guided, tour was The Pantheon.  I could not believe that I was standing in The Pantheon!  The light pouring in from the single opening in the center of the rotunda was as strong as a spot light in our theater.  The interior architecture and iconic religious artwork was equally as powerful.  Upon leaving we saw a man dressed in full Gladiator regalia sitting on the steps eating a sandwich.  Hey, even Gladiators need a lunch break!  Fighting off lions must create one heck of an appetite.  Moving along!  We took ourselves over to Fontana di Trevi, or simply the Trevi Fountain where those immortal three coins sought their own happiness.  The steps surrounding this incredibly ornate wonder were crawling with hopeful tourists tossing coins into the water, hopeful that their wishes would be granted.  Did I make a wish?  You had better believe it!  My coin even made it into the water, which is apparently not the case for everyone.  By this point, the late afternoon sun was telling us that we had better make a move toward the train station and begin our journey back to our floating home.  We arrived at the train station just as a train bound for Civitavecchia (and our ship) was leaving.  The next scheduled train departure was only 20 minutes, so we thought we were golden.  Well, we did not take into account, nor even imagine the possibility that a man would decide to lie down dangerously close to the tracks and cause train in both directions to stop.  The time that we had to be back on the ship was growing closer and closer, so we had no choice but to leave the station and find a taxi to drive us all the way back.  Fortunately there was one waiting just outside the station, and for 120 Euro, we were off zipping through the streets of Rome on our way home.  Everything seemed to be going well until we reached the road that was meant to take us directly to the port gate.  The road had been closed and there was a detour route.  However, our driver did not follow the detour.  Our driver decided to turn in the opposite direction and take us further from where we NEEDED to be in less than 15 minutes.  (Allow me a moment to describe the severity of the issue of being onboard at the correct time.  If a crew member misses the all-aboard time, three things could happen.  One, the port agent delivers your passport to you and you are responsible for making your own way to the next port of call.  Two, you are allowed back onboard and will face disciplinary action from the Captain.  Three, your contract will be terminated and you will have to pay for your own way home.  In short, you do NOT want to miss the all-aboard time.)  The driver finally delivered us at the port gate and we began to sprint to the ship.  As we passed other ships in the port, onlookers began cheering from the outside decks as if we were carrying the Olympic torch.  As we were almost to our ship a port shuttle bus stopped to pick us up.  We were relieved that we could finally stop our tribute to Forrest Gump and hopped happily onto the bus.  The bus then proceeded to travel AWAY from our ship.  At this point we had mere minutes before we had to be back onboard.  The three of us began pleading with the driver to turn around, which he finally did.  We arrived back on the ship at 7:27 and the all-aboard time was 7:30.  I believe that I now know what it must be like to suffer from IBS.  *Phew*

St. Peter's Basilica...serving up Papal realness.

Trevi Fountain.  I mean, it's really just your average drinking fountain.

                


So, all in all things are going quite well here on the ms Nieuw Amsterdam.  We are about to receive a new cast member as my counterpart, the other male singer / dancer, was a replacement and could only stay for a month.  So, with a new cruise about to begin, so does another round of installation rehearsals.  You know what they say, there' s no business like show business.  I am hoping that this new phase of transition goes as smoothly as our first, but through it all I am praying to maintain a spirit of gratitude and focus.

For those of you that have made it this far down, thanks for sticking it out!  Take care of yourselves and remember to take some time to find the magic in each and every day.

But for now, until then,

Joey