gay /ɡā/ (of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man)

When it comes to being gay, we’re living in a pretty confusing time. We constantly hear about how far we’ve come, and how people are more accepting than ever, but we’re stuck with a government that’s unwilling to stand up for our rights, and depending where we live, many of us still experience homophobia on a regular basis. As straight people flood your timeline with engagements and baby announcements, it can feel like your space to express yourself is as small as ever.

So it might not always be easy, but I’ve got a challenge for you in 2019: make this your gayest year yet. Whether this means coming out for the first time, or buying yet another piece of RuPaul’s Drag Race merchandise, it’s time to work on living your queer identity to the fullest, in every part of your life. Think of these as your gay resolutions for the new year, except I’m not going to tell you to go to the gym. You do you.

Family

I’m not saying you should show up to your Grandma’s Easter brunch in a leather harness, but there are lots of steps you can take to be your authentic self with your family this year. Of course, the biggest challenge in this process is coming out. Many of us are fortunate enough to have positive coming out experiences, but no matter the circumstances, coming out is still a stressful personal journey. Of course, you should never do anything that makes you feel unsafe, but if you’re still weighing when and how to come out to your family, I encourage you to do it sooner rather than later. Even if you face criticism from some, there are millions of us waiting to welcome you into the LGBTQ family.

If you’ve already navigated the waters of coming out, good for you! But that doesn’t mean your work with your family is done. Lots of us have family members that are supposedly supportive, but would obviously rather not discuss the fact that you’re never going to bring home a partner of the opposite sex. This year, it’s time that you push those boundaries of comfort, and have real discussions with your loved ones. It’s 20-f*cking-19, and Aunt Trish should really be able to understand that being gay isn’t a “lifestyle choice.”

Friends

Friendships in the gay community are tough. There’s no other way to say it: it can be really difficult to meet new people without immediately being judged as a potential sexual partner. Girlfriends are great, but sometimes you just want to spend quality time with some good old-fashioned queens. If you’re struggling to find your gay group, try getting a little creative this year. Step out of your comfort zone, and you might just find your people. If there’s someone you were sort of friends with in college, but haven’t talked to in a while, reach out and suggest platonic plans. Most people are more open to new friends than you think, so getting drinks once could turn into a great friendship, and they probably have other friends that you’d like too.

One thing that I will suggest trying, if you haven’t is going out solo. Showing up to a gay bar with no squad or date in tow can be very daunting, but what’s the worst that could happen? If there’s nothing interesting going on, just have a couple drinks at the bar and call it a night. But if you find a place with a great drag show or fun dancing, it’s a great chance to meet new people! You might not find a best friend this way, but it’s still a great way to get out of the house (which I only recommend in small doses, but that’s another issue for another post) and have a little fun. 

Relationships

So full disclosure, I’m very single right now. Therefore, I won’t pretend to preach like I’m some sort of relationship guru.  I feel like we talk all the time about how gay guys just want to have random sex, or how it’s so hard to find a boyfriend, or other major generalizations like that, but it’s not so simple. Everyone is looking for something different, and it’s just a matter of finding the right match. In 2019, try focusing on putting your personal wants and needs above any preconceived notions about what you should want. Listen to your instincts, and don’t be afraid to switch up what you’re looking for. If you’re in the middle of a slutty phase, enjoy it!

But if you’re at a point where you’re really craving a deep connection, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. If you tell a guy that you’re looking for a relationship and he doesn’t respond well, then just cut your losses and move on! There are plenty of people out there, and you shouldn’t be wasting your time with someone who has different needs than you. If you can’t wait for someone who will go on gay trips to Disney World with you, then go out there and find them!

So whether you have some major life decisions ahead, or you just want to try something different and meet some new people, there’s never been a better time to get out there and be gay.  Above all, let’s all love each other, and have a great, gay 2019. Be well, beauties.

New Year, Who Dis?

2018 was pretty fantastic. I was fortunate enough to spend almost all of it with some of the kindest, funniest, hardworking, and genuinely caring people. Showboat peeps, love and miss ya! I was also fortunate enough to live with two of the best humans I’ve ever known. To them I say, A Merry CherryBerry to us all!

I am now sitting in my cabin on the Norwegian Dawn, just starting a six month contract as a Singer/Dancer at sea. I get to work with some pretty stellar humans and have been given the opportunity to grow as a performer, thanks to the challenging material and incredible guidance from my directors. 

There are terrible things happening all over the world, and I can’t pretend that everything is peaches. However, I can say that in this current moment, I’m pretty damn happy. Moving forward into a new year, I’m going to challenge myself to truly examine all aspects of my life and how I play a part in the lives of others. We all cast ripples from ourselves with each action we take, each thought we think, and every word we utter aloud. I’m going to try my best to make sure that my ripples help others move forward, rather than causing them to falter or sink. Light is love, and love is king (and queen), beauties. Be well today and every day! 💙 

-Joey

A Gathering of Angels Appeared Above My Head

Hello, beauties!  I hope this finds you in good spirits and having a great start to your week.

Today was the office run of the last show my cast learned!  It went really well and we moved on to a run of the show we learned last week.  After all of that fun, we started reviewing everything we have learned in our six weeks of rehearsals. It was a physically demanding day, but it was good to check in and know that I have everything that I’ve been taught tucked neatly away in my brain.  Tomorrow we will run and clean everything we didn’t do today, one production show and two bumpers, which are shorter shows or stand-alone numbers.

On Wednesday we board the plane to San Juan to meet our new home for the next six months!  I’m so incredibly excited to get onboard and see what life at sea is like with a new company.  I was fortunate enough to work for another cruise line, Holland America Line, for many years, so I’m used to things being a certain way.  However, it’s nice to mix things up and try new things, such as working with a new company!

I’m sure that I’ll have much more of an update once I’m onboard and putting all of our shows up.  For now, just know that I’m feeling incredibly grateful for this experience!  I pray that you are surrounded by love and light! Be well, beauties!

Joey

Here we are!  The Norwegian Dawn Cast 8.0

The Magic of Ezra Miller

I implore you to read the following interview with Ezra Miller for Playboy magazine. He is unabashedly queer, heartbreakingly honest, and incredibly thought provoking. What he has to say has just rocked my world. Enjoy, beauties!


“The Magic of Ezra Miller”

He’s Back, Folks!

It seems like only yesterday that I started this collection of experiences and musings, and yet it feels like a lifetime since I’ve posted.  I cannot promise a weekly post, but I will do my best to have one at least biweekly.

So much has happened in all areas of my life since I fell of the blogging train.  Please bear with me as I attempt to provide you with an abridged life update.

For the past two years, I have been working in Branson, Missouri.  People call it “The Vegas of The Midwest.”  It is actually a lot like Vegas in the fact that what happens there should definitely stay there.  I was fortunate enough to work with and become close with many incredible souls, and for that I will be forever grateful for my time there.  Perhaps I will write a more in depth post about actually living in Branson, but perhaps I will not.  You’ll just have to keep checking back!  I’m sure you’re just beside yourself with excitement!  What happened next?  Ah, yes.  I left Branson.

I have been itching to return to performing on the high seas for quite some time, and that time has finally arrived.  I’m currently in Tampa, FL, rehearsing for a contract with Norwegian Cruise Line.  I will be sailing aboard The Dawn in The Caribbean, Canada, and New England for six months.  I’m feeling very grateful for this experience with a new company!  I am a Singer/Dancer in a cast of 12 and they are just lovely people! We have learned our Welcome Aboard show, some other dances that we’ll do around the ship on various nights throughout the cruise, and our first full production show so far.  We are currently in the middle of learning our second production show.

I’m very sore from dancing for 8 hours six days a week, but I’m loving every bit of it!

More details to come, so please check back in every once in awhile!

It’s our day off, so I’m going to get a start on my laundry and catch up on my stories.  I hope that you have a wonderful day, wherever you are.  Be well, beauties!

Sometimes I Write Poems

familiarity - a façade of possibility

attention misdirected - the day to day

longing - a wool coat and i’m sweating

forward - letters to What May Have Been Lane

shifting, growing, losing, trying, crying, fighting, hoping

wanting, drowning, smiling, laughing, rising, falling, coping

envy like ivy ensnares well-meaning intent

absolute uncertainty, the mask i present

soaked by the rain of lukewarm affection

i’m sinking and screaming with little to no mention

shifting, growing, trying, losing, fighting, crying, coping

drowning, wanting, smiling, laughing, rising, falling, hoping

time is a healer again and again

time is a healer again and again

time is a healer again and again

how many times until time is the end

trying, losing, fighting, crying, drowning, falling…

coping

coping

coping

To Those Experiencing Life

"The truth is, everything you’re afraid of is going to happen to you. You’ll be poor. You’ll get dumped. You’ll lose someone you love. You’ll be ridiculous. You’ll make mistakes. Oh yes, you’ll make mistakes. You’ll make so many mistakes!!! Sometimes you’ll feel completely lost.
But whatever happens, you’ll always have yourself.
Your sense of humor, your crazy theories, your love for life, your curiosity about others. Your ever-changing vision of the world — all of these things will stay intact.
And you’ll realize that right when you think you’re going to fall into pieces and crash on the floor, that there will be loving arms there to catch you, and whether that support comes from close friends or strangers, they will be there. Learn to recognize it, and give yourself over to those loving arms.  Learn to let go and give yourself over to loving arms. Learn to see the magic of existence.
Learn to follow all those invisible threads that you’ll weave together just by being yourself, always progressing toward more light, more acceptance, and more truth.
You also need to know that you will be loved, and you will be successful. And all those difficult moments that came before will protect you from being afraid. Stop worrying. You’re going to see the world, and meet people, and learn to love them. You’ll learn tenderness. Toward others, and toward yourself. You won’t be so afraid anymore. Don’t be so afraid, sweetheart."

GARANCE DORÉ

"You must be willing to change. You must be willing to break the deal you made with the devils within. You must be willing to leave the past and not be tempted to rebound when times are tough.
You must be willing to let go of everything and anyone that takes you back to your sins. You must be willing to have hope. You must be willing to have hope that you can change and that you will and that you will be better.
You must believe you are worthy of change and you are worthy of improvement and you are worthy of being the best.
You must be willing to set aside your negative notions about life, about hardships, about people, about things, about yourself. You must be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself while looking at the world move around you.
Get up and make something of yourself."

JACK BARAKAT

"Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes.
Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. 
You’re doing just fine."

charlotte ericksson

be well, beauties.